Holding In Anger
The suppression of angry feelings and the resulting resentment is perhaps the most common response to anger. Resentment results from a long history of unexpressed anger. Evidence suggests that suppressed anger relates to hypertension and heart disease. Also, those who suppress anger usually develop guilt feelings because they believe their anger is wrong.
Passive-Aggressive Behavior
When someone is angry with us and holds resentment toward us, he may express his anger in subtle ways. He may procrastinate, obstruct us, be stubborn or he may engage in intentional inefficiency. This passive aggressive behavior expresses anger that the person would not dare to express openly.
Ventilation
Ventilation is another common method of handling anger. This may mean confronting offensive people, letting someone know that he is wrong, cursing at every irritation or vocally expressing displeasure at disappointing events. This kind of expression of anger can be wrong because it is usually directed at hurting others or is allowed to get out of control. Sometimes ventilation accelerates to such an extent that people hear themselves saying things that they did not mean to say, or that they don't even believe. Conflict of this kind, especially verbal hostility, keeps problems going and causes more conflict. Shouting and storming usually do not accomplish anything productive. A clear, controlled, thoughtful expression of anger is a far more valuable tool for people who want to be heard.
Figure 3-1. Results of Handling Anger in Common Negative Ways
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